Feel guilty after buying non-necessary items – please help.?
I feel quite guilty and get a lot of buyer’s remorse after I buy items for myself or non-necessary items. I don’t know why.
I do not have a shopping problem. I like buying essentials that we get use out of. But when it comes to non-100% essential items; I think about it too much – whether or not I should buy it – to the point where it bothers me. Afterwards, I feel guilty for spending money on something we didn’t truly ‘need’.
I have Microsoft Money installed, always have been good with budgeting and finance, and I keep monthly tabs on how much we’re spending: groceries, household, gifts to ourselves, pet, baby, etc etc…
2 Examples: I bought slipcovers to protect our sofas (did need) and they turned out to be a true hassle. I should have kept the packaging and returned in time but I didn’t. I feel bad about that.
Then last night, I bought a quilt and shams because I’ve been wanting a quilt for a while, when we already have a lot of bedding, none of quilt-related though. My husband said buy it, he wanted to get me something for mother’s day beyond the toy he got me. I almost put it back and didn’t buy it, but I didn’t want to make a big deal about it in front of hubby, and it was pretty. It cost or so last night. Then I think the $ could have gone for baby’s birthday toys or fixing something on the house instead of for me and the bed.
Why can’t I just feel okay about it and things like this? I constantly think about it and whether or not it’s okay to keep…it takes the joy out of things. I feel nervous about it too.
We don’t have any financial problems, no credit card debt and we have a savings. So why do I get so guilty? Any help/suggestions on how to deal w/this? Thank you!
If it matters, I forgot to mention that only my husband works. I take care of my 10-month old son during the day, alone. So technically he earns all the $.
Tagged with: bedding • birthday toys • budgeting and finance • credit card debt • groceries • hassle • household gifts • hubby • microsoft • microsoft money • remorse • shams • shopping • sofas • spending money • tabs
Filed under: "How to fix Bad credit so I can buy a house"
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Ah, the true mother syndrome. Give, give, give, and never take for yourself.
I once owned only two pairs of jeans, one with holes I could put my fist through, and only one pair of shoes that were literally falling apart because I felt too guilty to go buy new ones when I could have spent the money on something needed for the kids and the house.
Believe me, sweetheart, you DO earn it. Your husband may be the only income source, but you earn what you get.
One way to get over this bad feeling of letting yourself have items you don’t "need" and not feel guilty about it is to put into your budget an allowance that you pay yourself weekly or monthly, in what ever amount you feel comfortable with financially, that you are allowed to spend in any way you want. That will be YOUR money for services rendered. and you can spend or save it in any manner you choose.
Did you see in the news recently where a "housewife" earnings would top $138,000 a year if they were paid for their services?
Give yourself an allowance and stop feeling guilty.
Hard work is not only rewarded with a paycheck, you also earn the right to indulge yourself.
Working hard deserves play things.
Play things means buying "wants" instead of only the "needs"
You EARNED the right to buy anything you want.
Have fun
If you think it is a problem, I’d suggest trying this:
When you see something you like at a store, don’t buy it. Tell yourself that you will buy it next week instead. By the time next week rolls around, are you still thinking about that product/item? Or has your feelings decreased? Usually when I pass up on something, I eventually just don’t care after awhile if I didn’t want it bad enough. And then you feel good for using your will power! But, if you still want it, then maybe it was meant to be.
If you can afford your nonesssentials (as you said you have no financial problems), then don’t stress too much. But, to make you feel at ease, why don’t you put away a certain amount of money each month (for the baby’s college fund). That way you will know that you are saving for something worthwhile- but you also can afford to have some extra left over for something fun.
i’m not sure how you developed that feeling but i would understand if i will have the same reaction because since my childhood up to my college years i’ve been tought and thought myself to spend money wisely. i really hassle myself alot when it comes to buy necessary things and even if i just want to spend money on loads of stuff that i just want but unnecessary, i feel guilty because i know i’m spending too much and it will end up making me broke by the end of the month. once i graduate and earn lots of money i’m sure i’ll still feel the same cos it had already became my habit to feel guilty. but its a good thing cos it makes you know what you should or should not spend money on!! (even if you spend on unnecessary things) but dont take that too seriously, if you have no financial problems, buy what you want, and if you feel its not okay to spend money like this, spend it on things that will make you feel better such as, take a day off and go to a spa, nail salon, hair salon, make yourself feel good, it is necessary for us girls to feel beautiful!